All Stars, Episode 1: It Takes Two (Part I)

OOH GIRL, I'm still processing that first episode. Thank you God (and by God I mean Ru) for the gift that is All Stars. This is going to be one ferocious season. 

To start off, here are the introductions.

I'm liking the dress and the headpiece. The whole getup has Pandora's signature peppiness to it. Not tacky and not high fashion, but right in the middle--which is where I think Pandora usually falls.

*****



Next up is Latrice muthafuckin Royale. Now let me just say that this bitch is sickening when she gets it right and this look is just that. She is all sorts of right, from the dress, fan, and earrings to the hair and makeup. EAT IT. 

*****


I'm loving this look. It all comes together quite well. The big crazy hair, the dripping chains, the sleeve tattoo, all very Yara and completely sexy and edgy. Jail Barbie is right, though I'd say that she's also giving me a little bit of crackwhore as well. I forgot how much I liked Yara. 

*****



Now you know you can always count on Shannel for some costume drama hunty. I for one am a sucker for Shannel's opulent costume offerings. Yes she has a tendency to wear "everything" but I can't seem to get enough of it! I'd wager that she is the only one who can pull off all that drag and make it chic--on anyone else and it'd be comically too much. I mean, it says something when the bitch is wearing a tail and I don't seem to care. (sidenote: I don't what production of Beauty and the Beast be having the Beast wearing this shit, unless the Beast in that production was a woman or a gay or a transsexual.)

*****


What I love about Raven is that everything I've ever seen her in looks so effortlessly chic. She doesn't even have to try. Put a paper bag over her and she'd make it look like it a fierce, expensive paper bag. Her look isn't ice queen this time but she's still real polished. However, with Pandora's cocktail party comment, I'd have to say that it is a bit simple, and I was expecting a little more. 

*****


Up next, Alexis. Now see, far away this outfit looks nice, but then up close it looks a little...cheap. I'm not sure I dig the purple hair and the matching mask. Not sure if I even like the mask at all really. Unfortunately I suffer from an Alexis Mateo bias, in that I never really understood what the fuss was all about over her. I love her personality and the zingers that she says every now and then, but style-wise and runway looks-wise...meh. But points for not showing up in the typical bun'd hair and sparkly pageant gown.

*****


Pro-fession-al Chad Michaels is up next and she is allegedly serving up some Hunger Games realness. I never saw Hunger Games so I can't connect, but I like the look, although I did already see her wear that at some other event. In the promos we've heard Manila say that they've all had plenty of time to stuff some tricks up their sleeves but does that apply to Latrice and Chad who were just on season 4 not too long ago? I'm just a sucker for amazing looks I haven't seen before.

*****


"See, this is how you do drag girls." LIVING for this look! The dress, the stockings, that furry bolero thing, her accessaries, that muthafuckin headpiece. Werq! What I've always loved how all of Manila's looks always carry her signature campy creativity and yet she always pulls them off with such aplomb, making everything look so very chic. I am gagging for days. 

*****


Mimi mutherfuckin Imfurst walks into this bitch and she's really not looking that bad. I'd wager to say that she looks pretty damn good actually (though I'm not a fan of those shoes). Kinda funny that we later find out that Mimi jacked Alexis's job at some club and yet here she is, showing up in an outfit quite similar to Alexis's and looking better than she does. 

*****


Oh Nina. I love you to hell, but...I don't know about this. I don't want to use the word tacky, but all that rainbow against all that neon...girl. And I don't know about the headpiece/wig. I actually have an agenda against all bright, unrealistically colored wigs. When it comes to outfits I'm less judgmental, but I like my hair real. But shit, this look is bright, happy, and loca which are all words that describe Nina Flowers so I'm not gonna front too much.

*****


And the award for most disappointing entrance outfit goes to...Jujubee. It pains me to say it because I love Jujubee as much as the next person, but I can't lie and say that this bitch couldn't use a little pizazz in her outfit choices. She's just so beautiful, I wish I could be wowed by her looks as well. Since she pointed out that she underdressed, I won't bitch too much. I don't really like that red hair either (I prefer her in brown) but oh well, what's done is done.

*****



And finally, in comes the weirdest bitch you'll have ever met, Tammie Brown. I'll save my thoughts for later, but astronomical amount of weirdness set aside, I usually tend to like her looks. And regardless of the plethora of WTF's I'm sure I'll say during her time on the show, the bitch showed up on day 1 in a really cute outfit. 

*****

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Written on Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 3:16 AM by Bebe Phat

Gentlemens, start your engines, and may the best womens wins















Are you bitches ready for this shit? It's only been the first (almost) episode and I'm already LIVING FOR THIS SHOW.

Sidenote: It's kinda weird how butch Pandora, Shannel, and Yara look with that facial hair. 

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Written on Friday, October 19, 2012 at 12:15 PM by Bebe Phat

WELCOME

Hay.

Hopefully you're here because you share an invested love/adoration/obsession with a little reality-TV show known as RuPaul's Drag Race, hosted by the gigantic black goddess known as RuPaul pictured above. But maybe that's not why you're here; maybe you're here because you were looking up Thai lady boys. Maybe you're here because you were looking up on some transsexuals. Perhaps you're just here on accident. Regardless of the reason, I'm glad you're here and I hope you stay, because this blog is focused on the greatest TV show in the history of all mankind (my humble opinion) and it would only serve you good to stick around and read up on the shit I've got to say about it. This blog is about a world where the terms tea, shade, gag, and eat it mean something entirely different from what you'd normally think it means. This is a world of limitless fabulosity, one of sequins and wigs and tucked penises and song and dance and sexual innuendos. This is The Drag Race Chronicles, and it serves to give commentary and evaluation on all the episodes of and queens within RuPaul's Drag Race. 

It doesn't seem as long ago as it looks.

I first encountered RPDR while channel surfing sometime after season one. I remember stumbling across the reunion episode and seeing the glorious Shannel throw a bitchfit at Santino while self-proclaiming her beauty. I remember seeing a shot of Nina Flowers and being horrified because she looked evil. Then sometime after Santino called Shannel's top tacky and she refused to hug him, I changed the channel and shook my head. I remember thinking that that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen, and that reality TV was going to the shitter and the show was only going to get people to think that the gays were all a bunch of...well, drama queens. And if you think about it, the show really is quite ridiculous. It's all about a bunch of men in dresses, giant wigs and a fuck-ton of makeup competing to see who does it all the best while occasionally taking a break here and there to scream at each other. But somewhere along the way I learned to love that ridiculousness. 

Herein lies two of my all-time favorite bitches. 

Later on near the end of season two, my roommate--who at the time was a bigger fan than I--would later show me RuPaul's Cover Girl video. I was intrigued, but didn't think much of it. Then he showed me a picture of the fabulous Jujubee and I was so taken by how fishy she looked, but I wasn't interested enough to give the show a full watch. It wasn't until the start of season three, when the bastard forced me to watch all the interview clips of the queens and the beginning episodes did I start to sway. I was so amazed by Raja's Italian Vogue chicness and Manila's quirky creativity and so amused by all the dirty sexual innuendos the show had to offer that by season three's end I was a hooked motherfucker. And I haven't been the same since.

My favorite season. 

By now I've watched all the episodes religiously and have even gone to see a number of queens perform in Los Angeles. It is by far my absolut favorite show, bar none. The show never takes itself too seriously and yet I respect RuPaul and his work enough to take his show very seriously (can't say the same for Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks). To me, each episode of Drag Race is a unique gem with something new to offer. 

Pretty underwhelming cast and season but I won't go there til it's time to go there. 

I suppose I like the show so much that it would only be natural to make a blog so that I may record all the damn things I have to say. With less than a week until the debut of the first All Stars season, it was just something that felt right. So I hope you enjoy the reads (the literal definition and the drag definition) I have to offer, for there will be many. 

SO PUMPED. SO FUCKIN PUMPED. I DIE. 

Holla.

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Written on Tuesday, October 16, 2012 at 12:15 AM by Bebe Phat